Call Now

Author: Rudy

My Boyfriend Wants An Abortion

Posted on by Rudy

He wants you to get an abortion.
But what do you want?

DOES YOUR BOYFRIEND WANT YOU TO GET AN ABORTION?

Can you relate? Did your first conversation about your unexpected pregnancy go poorly? Maybe he just didn’t react well in the moment. Is he really opposed to you keeping the baby, or is he just ambivalent? Does he feel a baby would mean the loss of freedom? Does he want to have children someday?

Unwanted pregnancy brings up so many questions. You want to make the right decision, but your boyfriend is saying he hopes you make the “right choice” and you know he means abortion. There are so many important things to think about.

Keep the lines of communication open. Why does he want you to have an abortion? Sometimes a guy may say he wants an abortion because he thinks that’s what you want to hear. Have you told him about your feelings?

How are you feeling?

Are you afraid you can’t keep the baby without both practical support, and emotional support from your boyfriend? It’s healthy and normal to both want and need support from others. You can build a support system of supportive friends and family with or without your boyfriend. Let’s start by asking if your relationship with your boyfriend is healthy enough to be supportive.

Is your relationship healthy?

Whether or not you stay together depends on the quality of your relationship, not the presence or absence of a child. Is your boyfriend willing to listen to your feelings, and respectful of your wishes? Or are you afraid to talk to him because he has angry outbursts? Fearing your partner is not a healthy sign. See if your situation sounds like this woman with an unhealthy relationship. She described her own experience on a forum in response to a story of unplanned pregnancy much like Brittany’s:

 

Hi! I’m sorry you’re in a tough spot.

It closely reflects what I’ve been through! My unplanned pregnancy brought out the truth in my relationship. I realized my 28-year-old baby daddy would not be there to support me emotionally through an abortion. He saw it as his way out from parenting.

Deciding was so difficult! For two months, I booked and canceled appointments. After having endless conversations with friends and family, posting here, arguing and crying daily with BD, I had to go with my heart. My heart is to keep the baby. Now I’m single and 5 months pregnant. I’m so much happier to be alone compared to the stress, shame, and sadness he has caused me. BD left me a few months ago. It’s a relief not having to try to make him stay.

If I could have gone back in time when I first found out, I would have told myself to keep the baby and let him go immediately, based on how he was acting. My little one and I will not be a perfect family, but I know that my child will be so loved and have every opportunity in their life. Yes, being pregnant and single sometimes feels lonely — but honestly, it’s just pregnancy. It isn’t as difficult as you think it will be.

One last thing: men and women are equally responsible for their own contraception. The fathers of our children could have insisted on condoms if they felt they were not ready to risk making a baby. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Listen to your heart and if you need support, please DM me!

SUPPORT FOR YOUR PREGNANCY

Speaking of support, did you know your local pregnancy resource center can talk you through your pregnancy options? Know your legal rights – no one can force you to abort. In order to make the best decision, you need to know your available options. Client advocates at New Beginnings Pregnancy Help Center can give you factual information about surgical abortion, medical abortion, parenting, and adoption.

If you’re still not sure how healthy your relationship is, it’s a good idea to talk to a client advocate about your boyfriend’s behavior. They can help you identify signs of domestic violence from controlling behavior to physical abuse. I know it’s hard to consider the possibility that the man you love might be abusive. The fact that he wants you to get an abortion when you don’t want one is concerning, and controlling.

SERIOUS SAFTEY CONSIDERATIONS

Did you know there’s an association between abortion and domestic abuse? It’s not always the case, but sometimes an abusive relationship leads to unplanned pregnancy and then abortion. Put another way, women with a history of Intimate Partner Violence had significantly higher odds of unintended pregnancy and abortion (2). According to Dr. Burke, “the abortion rate and the domestic violence rate have risen almost side by side. Abortion, for both women and men, is associated with self-hatred, self-punishing behavior, and an increased tendency to act out anger and rage toward others.” (3). Work with your client advocate, and tell a safe family member if you need to make a safety plan.

If you are in crisis, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline / 800.799.SAFE (7233)

For emergencies, call 911.

Need Support?

If your boyfriend is not willing or able to support you financially, check out the Top 3 Financial Resources for Pregnancy Article Coming Soon
Contact Us Today!

Maybe your boyfriend isn’t toxic, and you’re still tempted to get an abortion to keep your relationship. Sometimes it’s helpful to map out all the possibilities. You could:

  • Keep the baby and keep the relationship
  • Keep the baby and lose the relationship
  • Lose the baby and keep the relationship
  • Lose the baby and lose the relationship
 

You’re in control of keeping the baby or not, but you’re not in complete control of your relationship. He might leave you after you have an abortion. Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re thinking about keeping the baby. If you ignore your heart and abort, you may feel “anger, resentment, and bitterness toward the partner who was not supportive or who ignored [your] desire to keep the baby.” (3). This resentment can destroy your relationship. Another woman from the same forum described how her abortion decision affected her relationship. Her boyfriend lied to her, claiming they could have another baby in the future. (No one can guarantee you a future pregnancy.) He argued he wouldn’t leave and promised to support her. His promises were weak. She’s still clinging to the relationship, but now she feels empty. Before the procedure, she believed it was the right choice for her. Then a few days later she had doubts when the permanence of her decision set in. Now she wishes she didn’t do it. Her advice is two-fold: first, educate yourself, and second don’t go through with a decision unless you feel 100% (4).

Ask yourself, after a period of time, which decision am I more likely to regret?

 

 

Back to Brittany!

Brittany felt calmer as she talked about all her feelings while her client advocate listened. She expected the woman to say something judgmental, but instead she highlighted all the resources they could offer her. New Beginnings Pregnancy Help Center has free diapers, baby supplies, and classes for single parents and parents-to-be.

Thanks to the center, Brittany knew she could keep her unborn child, even without her boyfriend’s financial help. She talked to her boyfriend more about his feelings about her pregnancy. He felt a mix of wonder, joy, guilt and pride. Turns out, he was afraid he would be a bad dad because he didn’t have a father growing up. She invited her boyfriend to attend parenting classes at the Pregnancy resource center with her. After her beautiful daughter was born, she knew keeping her was the best choice.

 

You can do this. This is not the first time pregnant women have decided to keep their unborn children. Maybe you’re thinking “Brittany had it easy. The fact that my boyfriend wants an abortion is not my only problem.” Client advocates have worked with hundreds of women with all sorts of problems. Get in touch to learn how we can help in your unique situation.

Sources

*Brittany’s name has been changed, and her story is an aggregate of women’s stories

(1) Paraphrase Peaa67wij. (2018, January 12). Help – I want the baby, father doesn’t. Netmums Forum. Retrieved April 22, 2022, from https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/pregnancy-terminations-1161/unplanned-pregnancy-46/1746791-help-i-want-baby-father-doesnt.html 

back

(2) Pallitto, C. C., García-Moreno, C., Jansen, H. A., Heise, L., Ellsberg, M., Watts, C., & WHO Multi-Country Study on Women’s Health and Domestic Violence (2013). Intimate partner violence, abortion, and unintended pregnancy: results from the WHO Multi-country Study on Women’s Health and Domestic Violence. International journal of gynaecology and obstetrics: the official organ of the International Federation of Gynaecology and Obstetrics, 120(1), 3–9. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijgo.2012.07.003

back

(3) Burke, T. K. (2020, June 5). Can relationships survive after abortion? • afterabortion.org. AfterAbortion.org. Retrieved April 21, 2022, from https://afterabortion.org/can-relationships-survive-after-abortion/

back

(4) Emwar5. (2018, January 12). Help – I want the baby, father doesn’t. Netmums Forum. Retrieved April 22, 2022, from https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/pregnancy-terminations-1161/unplanned-pregnancy-46/1746791-help-i-want-baby-father-doesnt.html back

Abortion Pill Reversal FAQ

Posted on by Rudy

Abortion Pill Reversal FAQ

What is Abortion Pill Reversal?

Abortion Pill Reversal (APR) is just what it sounds like. It’s a protocol used to reverse the effects of the abortion pill process. (The abortion pill is also known as medication abortion, medical abortion, RU-486, or chemical abortion). If you regret talking taking the abortion pill, reversal offers the opportunity to continue the pregnancy. There is hope and help available for those who change their minds and want to continue a pregnancy at the APR helpline 877.558.0333 and the APR website. 

What should a woman do if she wants to reverse the effects of the abortion pill?

A woman who chooses to reverse the effects of mifepristone and continue her pregnancy should call the Abortion Pill Rescue hotline at 877.558.0333 or go to the APR website to begin a live chat. The APR Healthcare Team is waiting to help.

Is it too late to reverse the abortion pill?

For those seeking abortion pill reversal, the goal is to start the protocol within 24 hours of taking the first abortion pill, mifepristone, also known as RU-486. However, there have been many successful reversals when treatment was started within 72 hours of taking the first abortion pill.[1]

Even if 72 hours have passed, call our hotline (877) 558-0333. We are here to help. It may not be too late.

The abortion clinic said I have to complete the abortion; is that true?

No, it is always your choice to change your mind. Even if you have started the abortion process with medication, reversal may still be a choice for you.

What if I am cramping or spotting? Does it mean it's too late to reverse the abortion pill?

Spotting or bleeding is common during reversal treatment. It is important and safe to continue the progesterone even if you experience spotting or bleeding unless directed otherwise. 


If you experience heavy bleeding, faintness, severe abdominal pain, or fever, seek emergency medical attention immediately. This could be an effect of the mifepristone and would require immediate care.


It is important to have an ultrasound to confirm that your baby is in the uterus as soon as possible.

What if I want to reverse the abortion pill but I've waited too long? What do I do then?

Please call our hotline number (877) 558-0333. You may still be pregnant. It may not be too late.

What about the other pills the abortion clinic gave me?

The second medication is called misoprostol or Cytotec. Its purpose is to cause the uterus to contract and expel the baby.

 

Misoprostol/Cytotec is not needed if you want to try to reverse the effects of the abortion pill.

How do I start the Abortion Pill Reversal process?

  1. Call our hotline (877) 588-0333
  2. Our on-call Healthcare Professional will ask you some basic questions to see if reversal is possible.
  3. The Healthcare Professional will then connect you with a doctor or medical provider in your area to start treatment if that is your choice.

What is the treatment to reverse the abortion pill?

You will have an ultrasound as soon as possible to confirm the heart rate, placement, and dating of your pregnancy.

 

The doctor or other medical provider will prescribe progesterone for you. Your progesterone may be given as a pill (taken orally or vaginally) or given by intramuscular injection.

 

The treatment will usually continue through the first trimester of pregnancy.

Why is progesterone used?

Progesterone is the natural hormone in a woman’s body that is necessary to nurture and sustain a pregnancy.[2] Mifepristone blocks progesterone’s actions by binding to progesterone receptors in the uterus and the placenta. By giving extra progesterone, the hope is to outnumber and outcompete the mifepristone to reverse the effects of mifepristone.[3]

What is the success rate of Abortion Pill Reversal

Initial studies of APR have shown that APR has about a 68% success rate.[4] Without the APR treatment, mifepristone may fail to abort the pregnancy on its own. In other words, your pregnancy may continue even without APR if you decide not to take misoprostol, the second abortion drug likely prescribed or provided to you when you took mifepristone. APR has been shown to increase the chances of allowing the pregnancy to continue.

 

However, the outcome of your particular reversal attempt cannot be guaranteed.[5]

What about birth defects? Is my baby going to be OK?

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) in [its Practice Bulletin Number 225, October 2020], states that: “No evidence exists to date of a teratogenic effect of mifepristone.”[6] In other words, it does not appear that mifepristone, RU-486, causes birth defects.

 

Progesterone has been safely used in pregnancy for over 50 years. Initial studies have found that the birth defect rate in babies born after the APR is less than or equal to the rate in the general population.[7] Neither Mifepristone nor progesterone is associated with birth defects. [8],[9]

What are the possible side effects of progesterone?

Progesterone may cause sleepiness, lack of energy, lightheadedness, dizziness, gastrointestinal discomfort and headaches. Increased fluid intake might help relieve these symptoms.


It is important that you follow all of the instructions of your APR provider carefully. If you have any questions, contact your provider.

Some progesterone treatments include peanut oil - what if I am allergic to peanuts?

If you are allergic to peanuts or peanut oil, notify your provider before beginning APR. Progesterone may include this ingredient, so it is important that you notify your provider of any of these allergies before taking progesterone. An alternative form of progesterone may be available for those with an allergy.

How much will this cost?

The cost of the treatment varies depending on the progesterone used. Insurance plans may cover treatment. Women who do not have insurance or financial means to pay for treatment should discuss this with their medical provider.

In cases of financial hardship, the APR Network will help you find ways to reduce the cost of the treatment.

Even though I regret my decision to take the abortion pill, there is no way I could keep and raise this baby alone and without support. What do I do?

We are here to help support pregnant women and their developing babies. Contact us and we can connect you to the support you need to make the best decision possible for you and your baby.

 

If you think parenting might be an option for you, but you have concerns about money, baby supplies, insurance or your parenting skills, there may be local help available.

I’d like to save this pregnancy, but I’ll probably get kicked out of my house. What should I do?

Call us at (877) 558-0333. We will help you find the resources you need for your particular situation. Most women might need a little (or a lot) of help. There are over 3,000 organizations around the world who help women and families with information and support with material assistance, peer and professional consultations, and even housing.

Are the abortion pill and the morning after pill the same thing?

No, they are different. The “morning after pill” or “Plan B” is marketed as an emergency contraception method. The most commonly used preparation contains a high level of a progestin and can be taken up to 72 hours after sexual intercourse. New insights into how it works make it clear that it can prevent implantation of the young human embryo into the lining of the uterus. This is an abortifacient effect, not a contraceptive effect.

 

The abortion pill, mifepristone, is taken up 70 days (10 weeks) into a pregnancy with the intention of causing an abortion. It works by blocking progesterone receptors. Progesterone is the necessary hormone that nurtures and supports a pregnancy.

 

The newest morning after pill, Ella, is very similar to mifepristone in its action in that it blocks progesterone receptors. It is approved by the FDA for use up to five days after intercourse and also has abortifacient effects.

Do any professional organizations support Abortion Pill Reversal?

The American Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists, a 2500-member organization, supports offering Abortion Pill Reversal (APR) to women who regret initiating the abortion pill process, after appropriate informed consent.

> View The AAPLOG statement here[10]

Sources

1. Delgado, G, M.D., Condly, S. Ph.D., Davenport, M, M.D., M.S.,Tinnakornsrisuphap, T Ph.D., Mack, J., Ph.D., NP, RN,  Khauv, V., B.S., and Zhou, P. A Case Series Detailing the Successful Reversal of the Effects of Mifepristone Using Progesterone. Issues in Law & Medicine, Volume 33, Number 1, 2018. Retrieved January 17, 2023, from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30831017/

2.  Progesterone Treatment to Help Prevent Premature Birth. March of Dimes Web Site. https://www.marchofdimes.org/complications/progesterone-treatment-to-help-prevent-premature-birth.aspx. Published 2018. Retrieved September 8, 2018.

3.  Hormones in Pregnancy. Niger Med J. 2012 Oct;53(4):179-83. doi: 10.4103/0300-1652.107549.

4.  Delgado, G, M.D., Condly, S. Ph.D., Davenport, M, M.D., M.S.,Tinnakornsrisuphap, T Ph.D., Mack, J., Ph.D., NP, RN,  Khauv, V., B.S., and Zhou, P. A Case Series Detailing the Successful Reversal of the Effects of Mifepristone Using Progesterone. Issues in Law & Medicine, Volume 33, Number 1, 2018. Retrieved January 17, 2023, from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30831017/

5.  Ibid.

6.  American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2020, October). Medication abortion up to 70 days of gestation. ACOG. Retrieved January 17, 2023, from https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/practice-bulletin/articles/2020/10/medication-abortion-up-to-70-days-of-gestation  (Practice Bulletin Number 225 replaces Practice Bulletin Number 143, March 2014. Reaffirmed 2022)

7. Delgado, G, M.D., Condly, S. Ph.D., Davenport, M, M.D., M.S.,Tinnakornsrisuphap, T Ph.D., Mack, J., Ph.D., NP, RN,  Khauv, V., B.S., and Zhou, P. A Case Series Detailing the Successful Reversal of the Effects of Mifepristone Using Progesterone. Issues in Law & Medicine, Volume 33, Number 1, 2018. Retrieved January 17, 2023, from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30831017/

8.  Unleashing the power of a woman’s cycle: Progesterone Support in Pregnancy. NaPro Technology Web Site. https://www.naprotechnology.com/progesterone.htm. Retrieved July 11, 2018.

9.  Progesterone and Pregnancy: A Vital Connection. Resolve Web Site. https://resolve.org/infertility-101/the-female-body/progesterone-pregnancy-vital-connection/. Published 2018. Retrieved July 11, 2018.

10.  American Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2019). 2019 AAPLOG statement on abortion pill reversal. AAPLOG. Retrieved January 17, 2023, from https://aaplog.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/2019-AAPLOG-Statement-on-Abortion-Pill-Reversal.pdf

Summer Vibes

Posted on by Rudy

Fun Group Adventures to Light Up Your Summer

Hey summer squad! ☀️ The sun’s out, the vibes are high, and it’s prime time to make unforgettable memories with your crew—whether that’s your ride-or-die besties, your partner, or your work fam. Group adventures are the ultimate way to strengthen bonds, spark joy, and keep your relationships as bright as a beach day. From festival chaos to chill backyard hangs, here’s your guide to epic summer fun and building connections that last. 

🏖️Let’s dive in!🌻

Hit Up a Local Fair or Festival​

Nothing says summer like the smell of cotton candy, the whirl of Ferris wheels, and the thrill of winning a giant stuffed animal (or at least trying!). Round up your crew or your boo and dive into the colorful chaos of a county fair or music festival. Split a massive pretzel, snap goofy selfies at the photo booth, or cheer each other on at the ring toss—it’s a bonding goldmine! Check local event listings on sites like Eventbrite or your city’s website for fairs, farmers’ markets, or live music events near you. Pro tip: Coordinate some matching festival fits for that extra squad energy!

Plan a Group Hike or Beach Day

Lace up your kicks, pack a cooler with snacks, and hit a nearby trail, beach, or park. A group hike or beach day is perfect for deep talks, belly laughs, and soaking in those summer views. Create a shared playlist with everyone’s favorite bangers to keep the energy up. Bonus: Studies show nature reduces stress and boosts mood (thanks, science!), so you’ll all be vibing on cloud nine. Don’t forget sunscreen and a frisbee for some spontaneous fun!

What Makes a Relationship Healthy?

Healthy relationships—whether with friends, family, or your partner—are like the ultimate summer playlist: they lift you up, keep you grooving, and make every moment better. According to the National Institute of Health, here’s what keeps relationships thriving:1

Valuing each other’s boundaries and opinions. If your friend’s not feeling the roller coaster, don’t nudge them onto it—let them chill with the funnel cake instead!

Being real and listening without judgment. Share your excitement for a festival or how you’re feeling about the group dynamic.

Feeling safe to be your authentic self. You shouldn’t have to fake it to fit in with the crew.

Hyping each other up, like cheering on your friend’s epic dance moves at a concert or helping them nail that carnival game.

To keep things tight, try small gestures like checking in before picking an activity (“Yo, what’s the squad feeling today?”) or giving a shoutout to someone for planning an awesome outing. These little moves build trust and keep the good vibes flowing. 

Host a DIY Outdoor Movie Night

Transform your backyard or a local park into a cinematic paradise. Borrow a projector, string up some fairy lights, and pile on the blankets for a cozy movie night under the stars. Pick a crowd-pleaser like a classic rom-com or a summer blockbuster, pop some popcorn, and let everyone kick back. It’s a low-pressure way to connect, especially for the introverts in your crew who just want to chill. Bonus points: Have everyone vote on the movie to keep it democratic!

At New Beginnings, we’re here to support women facing unexpected pregnancies

With compassion, care, and zero judgment. Ready to learn more or reach out? Visit our About Us page to discover our mission or head to our Contact Us page to connect with our team today!
Contact Us

Volunteer as a Squad

Want to make a difference while bonding? Team up for a community cleanup, food bank drive, or help out at an animal shelter. Working together for a cause strengthens your crew’s connection and gives you all something to feel proud of. Plus, it’s a great way to meet new people who share your values. Check out VolunteerMatch.org or local nonprofits for opportunities. Nothing says “squad goals” like making the world a better place together!

Get Artsy with a Group Project

Unleash your inner artist with a tie-dye party, pottery painting, or a group mural project. Hit up a craft store for supplies, queue up a fire playlist, and let everyone’s creativity run wild. Tie-dyeing old T-shirts is a budget-friendly way to make wearable memories, and you’ll learn a ton about each other’s quirks (who knew your bestie was that obsessed with neon green?). No judgment, just vibes—perfect for building those authentic connections.

Red Flags: Spotting Unhealthy Dynamics

Not every connection is a summer banger. If someone in your circle is dimming your shine, it might be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Keep an eye out for.

They guilt-trip you into ditching the group hike to hang solo or always want things their way.

They laugh off your ideas, like mocking your suggestion to try a pottery class, making you feel small.

They’re constantly checking up on you or doubting what you say about your feelings.

They push you to do things you’re not cool with, like staying out past your comfort zone or trying something risky.

Keep the Summer Vibes Rolling

The secret to an epic summer? Surround yourself with people who make you feel like the main character in your own story. Plan group adventures that spark joy, laugh until your cheeks hurt, and keep the communication open. Whether you’re sharing a bucket of fries at a fair, stargazing during a movie night, or cleaning up a local park, these moments build bonds that last way beyond Labor Day.
 
So, grab your shades, rally your squad, and make this summer one for the history books. What’s your go-to group activity for summer fun? Drop it in the comments on iRapture’s site—we’re dying to know!

National Institute of Health, “Relationships and Health,” NihNational Institutes of Health (NIH)